MOMENT'S

Not where I thought I would be... Insights on being single.

2010-11-22T21:38:00.000-08:00

I know it has been a while since I posted anything but an amazing women sent this to me and I thought I would share it.

So if you asked me 15 years ago where I thought my life would be this is not it. I have learned alot being single, some would call me an "Old Maid" (ha ha ha) and this article gives some insight to being a single women in a world where focus is on being married and having a family. It also gives some good advice on teaching young women about life.

Don't get me wrong I love my life and being single, but we all have our days when being single just plain sucks!!!

Happy reading!!!

Meridian Magazine
Life's Little Instruction Book for Single Women

By Erin Ann McBride
Growing up I was taught all sorts of lessons about the real world- assuming that the real world was a place where I would grow up to get married and have children. But no one ever taught me any lessons about what would happen if the ideal real world didn't pan out for me. No one ever prepared me for a world where I might not ever get married, and instead might find myself single and living alone for the rest of my life. In other words, in spite of a lot of preparation for the future, I woke up one day and found myself woefully unprepared for the future I am living.

I remember little life lessons handed down from the women above me that included things like, “Someday when you have a husband you'll ...” or “When you are a mom you will understand.” Or one of my favorites, “When you get married your priorities will change.” No one ever handed out advice that included, “When you are in your thirties and all alone, you'll need to be prepared to...”

Multiple times in my life I have woken up to these realizations, but never more so than when I am looking at my dishes. Why my dishes? Well, no one ever threw me a bridal shower. No one ever gave me all of those start up items to begin my adult life. I never got a nice set of matching dishes or towels, or pots and pans, or new linens. If I have it, I had to earn it. It is when I am looking at my mismatched set of dishes compiled from odds and ends left by roommates over the years, that I realize no one ever prepared me for what happens when Plan A (marriage and babies) doesn't pan out.

But then who was going to teach me all of those lessons? I can't think of one role model in my life that could have prepared me for my real life. My mother got married at age 19. She's never lived alone, nor had roommates. She's never been the sole breadwinner for the family. She's never had to make all of the financial decisions alone. I look back at my young women advisers, and I can't recall any single women among them. One of them had a job that I can recall, but only a part-time one. In other words, it isn't a surprise to me how completely inept I feel sometimes at how to be an adult, professional, single woman.

I am not surprised at the lack of role models in this area. But it does make me sad. I know there are fabulous great women just like me out there. I wish they were recognized more for how much they have accomplished, rather than always described as “she's accomplished because she never got married.” I think that does an injustice to all women, single or married. Why can't a woman be accomplished just because she chose to be? Why does her marital status matter? But I digress...

The list of things I have never learned could fill a book. The things I was never encouraged to learn to prepare for a life alone could fill five more books. And so I thought about it. What would I like to pass on to young women to prepare them for the future where things may not turn out to be all white lacy veils and bouquets of flowers?

Erin's Little List of Instructions on How to Live a Single Woman's Life

“I'll get married someday and then I'll worry about retirement.” is NOT a financial plan. Get a real financial adviser- an unbiased one. Preferably not a member of your family. Why? Because people who love you and want to see you get married someday, might let “someday” influence your financial planning. An unbiased expert will help you prepare the right way.
Not getting the full education you want because it would just be a waste of time and money “when you get married and settle down and have children,” and then never use your degree- will be the biggest regret of your life.
Don't settle for “this will be a better job for me” because you can use those skills when you have kids, is not a career plan. Look into the future ten years and ask yourself do you want to be in that job still if you never have children? Instead, ask yourself “is this the job that will make me happy if Plan A doesn't work out? Will it financially support me and be mentally stimulating?”
Explore your passions! Don't wait for someone else to come along to do them with you! Go find what you love and enjoy it fully.
Decorate the way you like it and the way you want it. There is no rule that says you have to do it the way your mom/roommate/sister/brother/ex-spouse liked it. Do it your way! (My way involves calendars in every room. None of them on the right month, and none of them accurate.)
I'd throw in my own little rule here about not shutting the bathroom door on principle, but it would embarrass my mother.
Buy food storage that you will eat! I think not stocking up on food storage is one of the biggest mistakes singles make.
If you don't live close to your own family, find a child to love in the community or in your ward. Having a child in your life is having a touchstone in your life to keep things real. It helps you remember that the world is not all about you, money, and whatever your job is making you do.
Travel! See the world! Have fun!
Buy good furniture. Say goodbye to Craigslist and invest in something you are proud to call your own. Make it something worth paying a moving company for!
Send out Christmas cards. You don't have to have a cute little family card to send out cards.
Insist on being treated like an equal. Don't let people treat you like you don't matter because you aren't married.
Make something of yourself. Don't ever hold yourself back from being great because of what others might think. Be the next girl's role model.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. There is an awful tendency to feel like we have to act or be a certain way in order to attract a man. Who wants to attract a man by being someone else? Attract a man by being yourself!
Buy a toolbox and learn how to use it. Don't spend your whole life being helpless and depending on others to take care of you. Learn how to take care of yourself!
Never, ever make a major life decision that you think will help you get a guy. This includes quitting a job, not getting an education, moving (cross town or cross country), buying a car (because you think he would like it), or spending more than $200 on anything (plane tickets excluded). Do what is best for you! Not what is best for you to hopefully, possibly catch him.
Find role models at work, at church, and in your personal life. Especially ones that have been where you are now. Moms and sisters are great, but if they haven't ever been in their mid-thirties, single, and financially independent, their advice and viewpoint will be limited. Seek out people who have been there and understand your challenges.
Have a guy best friend who will tell you the truth.
Never, ever kiss your guy best friend unless he kisses you first. And don't even think about kissing him otherwise.
Have a healthy relationship with food.
Own one great pair of jeans that you look fabulous in. Own one great dress that you know turns heads when you walk into a room.
Never let yourself become a manhater.
Learn to cook for one. And don't eat Lean Cuisines and cereal for the rest of your life.
Never be afraid to do it yourself. It doesn't matter what IT is. Go do whatever IT is you have always wanted to do.
Remember that all the answers you really need come when you are on your knees. Don't be afraid to ask the One person who knows exactly how you feel.
Single women, help me out! What do you wish someone had taught you? What are life's little lessons that you never saw coming? Leave them in the comments below!

Josh Turner Concert

2009-07-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Summer is fun!!! Two concerts in two weeks, who could beat that. Lauree and I went up to Evanston and met up with Laurel, Tiffany, Tiff's boyfriend Devon, and her bro Tyler to see Josh Turner, Little Big town and the Trailer Choir. We actually only heard one song from the Trailer Choir because we had been painting mom and dad's house, I'll post pictures of that later. Anyway I usually don't like Little Big Town, but after listening to them live, maybe it's because they are over played on the radio, they were actually pretty good. Lauree made me take pictures of the dark haired guy because he's hot, and I tried to take some of the others, but they didn't turn out that great. Lauree and I pushed our way pretty close to the front of the stinky drunks for Josh and it was well worth it. Enjoy the pictures!!!
Lauree and I

Laurel and I

Devon, Tiffany, Laurel, Tyler

Tiff and Devon

Little Big Town

Josh Turner

King George, Love Him...

2009-07-29T13:56:00.001-07:00

Lauree and I went with my friend Teona and some of her friends to the George Strait concert at USANA. It was amazing. I love George. We got to see ton's of friends that we have met over the years which was great! Anyway,Julianna Hough and Blake Shelton opened and were good, but nothin' beats George. He is beautiful!!!
When it was over we got a little bored waiting to get out of the parking lot, that's what the picture of all the cars is. Then we took some pictures of our beautiful faces waiting in the car.

Did I mention I love George!!!

Finally Posting

2009-05-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well if you want to know how well I keep a journal, it's about as well as I keep up my blog.

So, here are a few things that I have done since the end of December.

Aleesha let the kids come and stay at mom and dad's after Christmas, so Dad, Jared and I took them for a ride up Monte and ended up letting them slide down the sides of the road on the floor mats of the truck. Dad, Uncle Dick and I took the kids shooting which consited of Dad, Uncle Dick and Hayes shooting while Dally, Kalon and I built a fort in the willows.

Lots of other things have happened since then, but right now I just don't remember what.

Jared graduated from BYU-Idaho (it's still Ricks to me)the first of April and Lauree, Mom, Dad and I trecked up there for it. It was great to spend time with Taytum, Jared and Cash. Here are some pictures from Graduation.

A couple of weeks after that we all headed up to the Baileys to brand.

If you couldn't tell, I love pictures except of me.

My friends and I went up Providence Canyon and had a fire before school got out, so here are some pictures of that. We burned books, notes from class and made Peach cobbler. Yummy!!!

Cash and Chansy

2008-12-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture I stole from Aleesha's Blog. It is so cute I decided to put it up too. Anyway, we went up to Idaho for Cash's blessing and had a wonderful time. I seriously have the best family ever.

Oh ya, if you look close they are holding hands. It's Precious!!!!

4 X 4 Picture Tag Post

2008-11-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

Teona tagged me so here is my picture. So this is a picture of Dally last year. She is such a little tease and fits right in with the rest of us.

I guess that I tag everyone who wants to participate.

Cash

2008-11-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

As of now I haven't had the chance to see the little guy, but Jared and Taytum have sent a few pictures, so I'll share.

Deer Hunt

2008-10-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite time of year and part of it is because of the deer hunt. Usually it is a huge Stuart family ordeal. All of my dad's brothers and my cousins get together and go up to my Grandpas homestead for a run. This year was a little different. I was the only one with a tag in my family, so Dad and I went. As for the rest of the Stuarts, we all went our various directions except for my cousin Dean. He came with dad and I for a "hike" and so Dad, Dean and I went to the Homestead.

Dean started over in Doan Holler (Hollow doesn't look right) and hiked over to were dad and I were waiting in the Pusey Basin. While we were waiting for him we had the binoculars out and were trying to spot some deer. Dad finally saw one and then I found his two companion. We went to get a little closer to see how big they were and then over on the next little hill (closer to us) we saw some more. One of those was a buck, so we decided that since it was closer I would take a shot. I shot but didn't know if I had hit it or not because he took off. Anyway I hiked over to it with dad yelling directions to me because I could not see it when I went down the hill and back to the top. When I got close to where I thought it was I could not see it and was afraid that a buck was going to jump up from its hiding spot and attack at any moment(I was a little freaked out)anyway I got about 5 feet from it before I saw it and it was just laying there. In my mind I thought it was going to attack but it didn't and was dead, just doing the dead twitch thing(Still a little freaky). I waited til I knew it wasn't breathing before I got close.
I started dragging it down the hill to a two track dad could get to with the truck and about half way down I rolled my "good" ankle. In the mean time Dad made it over to the road and backed the truck into a spot that we could throw the deer in then came and drug the deer to a spot to gut it. He was my hero and gutted it for me. That is what dad's are for right, anyway I helped and got all bloody. We threw it in the truck and went and found Dean.

When we got back to Woodruff we had to show Gramps and Grams so we stopped there before going to hang my deer. Lauree was on her way home so I called her and told her about my deer and my ankle and she was a life saver and stopped and got me a brace for my ankle. Anyway, I ran home to tell mom while Dad, Dean, Gramps, and Grams where talking. Anyway, we finally got the deer hung and I got some pictures. They are kind of gross, but what can you do.

Well, after that we all decided to go up to Dairy. It was beautiful!!!

We decided to do a little fishing and some target practice with the .22 and the plinker. It's a wonderful little toy. (Ours doesn't have the targets on it, you can buy stickers, but they usually just fall off)

So after we had our fun, we were headed out and about half way to the main road on Monte, there were two Fish and Game wardens. They stopped us and asked us if we had been hunting, as they looked in the back of the truck (with the blood my deer in there from that morning. We said yes and they went through the questions. f&g"Who's hunting?"
me"Me"
f&g"Did you get anything?"
me"Yeah, a four point"
f&g(Putting two fingers up on each hand on the sides of his head)"A four point?"
me (kind of peeved-Putting four fingers up on each hand of the side of my head)"NO A FOUR POINT!"
f&g"Can I see your tag?"
me"yeah"
f&g"Where is it?"
dad"In Woodruff"
f&g"Where did you get it?
dad"On my dad's homestead, on Middle Ridge"
f&g"Where's that?"
dad"Down towards Woodruff on the south side of the Monte highway"
Oh I have had allergies, and one of my eyes has been red and swollen, and the jerk then asks:
f&g"Did you get hit in the eye with a scope?"
me(REALLY, REALLY, REALLY PEEVED)"NO, I HAVE ALLERGIES!"
f&g"oh"

Anyway it was about twenty questions, and they wonder why people think they are idiots??!!!!!!

So that's pretty much how my Deer Hunt went this year.
I'm not a very good story teller, but hopefully you get the gist of my day.

Jared and Taytum had their baby...

2008-10-01T15:30:00.001-07:00

So Monday they started Taytum, I think around 10am-ish, and she finally had the baby around 12:15am Tuesday morning. I think that they are going to name him Cash Kent Stuart. He weighed 8.7 lbs and was 19.5 inches long. I will post more when I get to see the little guy.

Beautiful Baby!!!

2008-09-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

Chansy Bailey Born August 28, 2008 So here are some pictures of the new arrival. Hopefully the end of this month I will be posting some of Jared and Taytums baby. Dally is such a cute little helper!!!

NEW BABY IN THE FAMILY!!!

2008-08-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!!! Aleesha and Earl had their baby this morning around 4ish. Aleesha finally told us she was 11 days over kind of after the fact, anyway they had a little girl. She weighed 8lbs 11oz and was 20.5 inches long. They are going to name her Chansy I think. I'm not sure if that is the right spelling or not. Anyway, both are doing well. I am headed down there this weekend, so I will write more and post some pictures when I get back.

Riding, Camping & the Rich County Fair

2008-08-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

So I took the week off last week. After working two weeks without a day off I decided that I deserved it and it really wasn't taking the week off because I had all ready put the hours in. Anyway, I went out riding with my dad Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Talk about a sore rear!!! I haven't been out riding like that for about a year, so i came home with raspberrys on the inside of my knees, and kind of walking a little bull legged.

On Wednesday night Dad, Mom and I went looking for dad's wallet that he lost out on the range(hopeless) and ended up in Evanston getting groceries, so I decided to splurge and buy a new camera. I am pretty excited, but I think that the fam is about sick of my new purchase.

Mom had Physical Therapy on Thursday morning, and we decided to head down to the river Thursday evening. We stayed down there until Saturday morning when I had to be to Randolph to help with the 4-H sale.

Here are some pictures of camping and the rodeo.

Lauree and I stayed in a tent and we secluded mom and dad in the camper for snoring reasons.

Mom beat us playing phase ten.

We even got dad to play idiot with us.

Woodruff sunsets are beautiful!!!

Lauree and I tried to take a picture in the tent before we went to bed and this is what happened. I know I look a little scary, but I just washed my face and I couldn't keep my eyes open when the flash went off. These are just a few of the pictures, I think we took about 30 trying to get one good one.

Here is one scary no makeup.

Here are some cute pictures we took at the rodeo saturday night.

If you didn't think we were crazy before, now you know....

Memory Lane....

2008-08-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

A walk down memory lane........

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Camping on Dairy

2008-07-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

So last week we packed up the trucks with coolers (packed full of food, pop, snacks, you name it), sleeping bags, fishing poles, lanterns, flashlights, games, and even a recliner for mom, and everything else you can think of and headed up on Monte Cristo to the cabin on Dairy Ridge. What a blast!!! Lauree and I headed up first to go unpack the truck and to take Uncle Bill's truck and trailer up to him. Mom, Dad, Aleesha and the kids came up a little later.
When we go up there, annually, we just go to get away from everything and everyone, all of us that is but dad. For some reason he thinks he still has to change water, feed animals and hay. Anyway like I said we just go to get away. We read, play games, fish, hike, go to the "neighbors" and play in her pond, sunburn, play in the creek, it is a blast.
This year with mom we took her recliner and took it with us everywhere we went. When we went down to the creek to fish we took the recliner and a huge pop up tent to put her in. She just sat there all day reading, sleeping, and playing with the grand kids. It was pretty hot and when she got hot we filled a bucket with water from the creek and poured over her feet, I also actually took her shirt once and soaked it in the creek wrung it out and put it on her, I think she thought she was going to die because the water was soooooooo cooold!
The grand kids played in the creek with boats, the fish, their chairs, and whatever they could find, ok so not just the grand kids all of us did.
Dad pretty much just fished and lounged and read some of the books at the cabin.
I got to read, fish, sunburn, everything I wanted to do. The only problem for me was it was not long enough, but oh what a good time (except for the unpacking).

My amazing mom....

2008-07-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

I guess there a few things going on in my life. I have been pretty busy lately. I have been working in Logan during the week and on the weekends have been going home.

My mom had both of her knees replaced, one on June 16 and the other on June 23 she is amazing. They have been bad since I can remember (they have bothered her since she was in high school).

About two months ago her "good knee" really started bothering her so when my dad went in for a checkup on his shoulder they got mom an appointment to have the doctor look at her knee's. Anyway to make a long story short the doctor told her that she needed to get them fixed as soon as possible to prevent permanent damage to her knee caps (they had moved to the side of her knee's). They set up the appointment to have them fixed and now she has two new knee's, her knee caps have been put where they are supposed to be and her legs are straighter then ever (I think she even got some hight back).

The recovery has been long and hard and someone has had to be there 24/7 to help her but she is doing much better and the 24/7 has ended. She still has to have someone there to help her stand up, but once she is up she walks better than before they were done. Every week is getting better.

It has been three weeks since the second knee was done and she has a check up on Wednesday so I guess we'll see how things are going.

Thank you to everyone who has come to visit and sent food, it has really helped all of us!!! You are all so wonderful!!!

Blogging...

2008-06-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

So, I really don't know a whole lot about this(blogging), but I like to read and get updated on everyone else, so I decided to give this a try. I am living in Providence, Utah and work for Utah State University as a Beef Nutrition Research Technician. What do you say does a Animal Nutrition Research Technician do? Well, I have a lot of responsibilities. I get to feed cows, take feed samples, and collect the feed that doesn't get eaten. I get to take fecal samples and rumen (stomach)samples, yeah I know it's gross! I help all of the grad. students with there trials and studies. (I could have had my PHD done with all the work I have done for the grad students, but I'm not complaining.) I take forage and legume samples. I weigh, dry, grind and run analysis on all samples. I help take care of the cows, calves, or bulls, or all. I fix waterlines, move sprinklers, weigh cows, body condition score (BCS)cows, and what ever else needs to be done. Anyway, that is mostly what I do. I have three bosses right now, which can get old some days. The funny thing is, is that I don't hear from any of them for a long time, them boom, they all need something done at the same time. Anyway, that is about it. Oh, if I can find any lovely pictures I will post them.